See you there~! *u*

Song of the moment. I’m feeling love all over me right now. Not really serious about it, though. From the moment I started feeling this, I have known it was, is, and will forever be a one-sided kind. I’m getting used to this kind of thing. Weird.

But it’s good. For me. I don’t want to go into anything serious right now. I could live with a mere crush-slash-infatuation. This is fine. I am perfectly fine and content. Happy. Super.

What’s this about? I found myself a new crush. Goodbye Jake. Hello Jeremy.

HAHAHAHA! I’ve gone bonkers. LOL.

I cried today with no particular reasons whatsoever. My heart’s really heavy right now and I needed that outlet for my overflowing emotions. This isn’t in a romantic sense okay?

But how I wish it were for that reason that my heart is in pieces these days. Just so someone else could fix it. Someone else could wipe away the tears I might shed time and time again. Someone else could glue my shattered self once again.

It’s very difficult. I don’t have anyone I could run to right now. Nobody I could share these sentiments I have and been keeping for the longest time. Nobody I could really talk to. Nobody I could really cry on. I could spill one or two stories to my regular friends. But no one could get a full confession from me. I choose not to give them one. Why is that? I don’t know.

I just have to trust Him. I respect Your motives. I know You have something good in store for me. I lift up everything to You now. And as for myself,  have faith and keep it.

I don’t know what I might or what I should really feel if it doesn’t come to terms with reality. So please, just this one.

Classes in my university already started last Tuesday. It was an early start for the academic year. CRS only had two batch runs in a span of like 2 weeks? After which we already had our registration. SUCKS. But thankfully, not for me.

I had all my classes enlisted via CRS. That even includes a PE class which I have been longing to get for two years! So registration was an easy-peasy task this time. I was able to finish enrolling myself in an hour or so.

Here’s my schedule for this semester:

As you can see, all of my classes are major ones. Meaning, I’m stuck in my college for five months. I don’t even have a decent break. Good thing, I have my beloved orgmates to talk with during those idle hours.

Blah blah. Here are the first day(s) stories:

2010 June 08, Tuesday

PE CLASS I was able to get Orienteering as my PE for this sem. It’s mostly about camping and other outdoor activities. I woke up really early for school because I still didn’t know where the Vanguard is located. Yes, I know. I’m a stupid 4th year student. I even have to ask my friends about its exact location. HAHA!

So there. I arrived minutes before the start. I sat at the farthest seat I could find. As I was fixing my stuff, the girl seating beside me tapped me on the back. She then pointed at my clear folder and asked if I was a KAT-TUN fan. I realized that the Kame clipping I had was (obviously) noticeable. We had a fun fangirl conversation afterwards.

However, the next meeting, she told me that she had to drop the class because her parents are strict.

EDSC 126 One of the classes I dread because of the demonstrations it requires. The professor’s quite strict but she seems easy to talk to. Thankful that I am classmates with some of my friends. Now I feel light about taking this.

EDSP 123 This is actually an elective for my program. I used to be an unofficial SPED major, so somehow I still want to experience what SPED teachers do. I was shocked to see mostly FLCD students in the class. I felt so out of place. The professor’s okay, though.

EDL 105 New professor. There’s only one thing I have to say about her class — I hate her grading system. Even if she says that it’s on the university standard, I still think it’s too low. Or IDK. I just wish she gives extra credits to her students. I like her style by the way! Hype!

EDRE 101 No class! Woo~ The professor’s still sick. So next week, will be our first meeting.

2010 June 09, Wednesday

EDUC 190 We have new professor. He might be reading this, so I guess I should only have good things to say? LOLJK. The class is honestly fun. I am classmates again with some friends. And as you all know, I’m active in WWW. I also love technology/computers, so I don’t think I’ll have any problems with this class.

EDTEG 101 aka my first program major class. We have an “old-new” professor. It’s her first time teaching the class. I’m looking forward to all the lessons she would give us. I am so excited!

So far, so good. I still have time to do org-related duties and such. But I guess as the middle of the sem approaches, things will start getting hectic. Ugh. Kami-sama, just let me finish this semester (better if in flying colors. LOL). I still have updates and stories to share but those could wait.

I know I shouldn’t be worrying about this thing. I still have two years to make up for it. I still have four semesters to do my best. But the pressure of bagging at least a Cum Laude standing is becoming heavier than I want it to be.

Sucks that everyone’s expecting so much from me.

I was able to get a job(?) limited for this season only. My Lola asked me to become an election watcher for a (I dubbed thee) Big Fish. We were given allowances to attend election-related seminars and guard the votes on election day. It was an easy job. Or so I thought.

My cousins, who were also election watchers, and I were already on the voting place before 6AM. And we were there ’til the very end. Yep. Until the ballot boxes have been wired, sealed, and delivered back to the canvassers. It was pretty exhausting since our voting place was really small and people were all excited to vote.

We ended up assisting the BEIs because (1) they were too old for the job, (2) two of them can’t even read without their glasses on, (3) obviously, there’s a lack in the number of authorized election staff, and (4) we need to accommodate almost 800 voters in that precinct alone and the lines were already reaching Neverland. Plus, time’s running out fast.

My original plan of voting at exactly 7AM was not a success. I was able to vote past 5PM already. Nearly two hours before the closing of the voting, and so is that of the machines.

I under-voted (on the Senatorial and Council parts) and I’m proud to say I did. Some family members kept on saying, “Sinayang mo lang ang pag-boto mo. (You wasted your chance to vote).” I don’t care, really. As long as I know for myself that those who got my vote truly and rightfully deserve it.

On my first time as a registered voter, I have witnessed everything — the good and bad sides of it alike. All I could say is, as long as we Filipinos live with open minds, there will always be progress. As for my take on the first automated elections, there is always a room for improvement. Bigger room!

Things have been mostly good these days. I still get all emotional and whiny sometimes, which is normal for every human being, right? Right? Ah~ anyway,  for those wondering what I have been up to for the past month, I’ll update you in bullets!

• My dad finally allowed me to live near the campus. Meaning, I’ll be boarding starting next sem. HA! I gave him a few reasons why I wanted to do so. But I guess the living-far-will-be-an-inconvenience-to-my-studies reason did the job. YAY! I could finally jog around the oval on nights.
• I’m still in the running to become… Thank you Kami-sama. Thank you.
• GLEEK! Boo you if you don’t know what that means. I am seriously crazy over Jonathan Groff. Really. I don’t care if he’s gay or what. He looks gorgeous and smexy hot!  Plus, his voice is just… soothing. Someone please bring me to Broadway? And oh by the way, I ship StBerry like HELLFUCKINYEAH! 

• I’m a fatty. No, I’m not being whiny over my weight. There’s nothing wrong really with putting on some pounds and I’m not really worried about that happening to me. In fact, I’ve been wishing for that! It’s just that I have been eating a lot and it’s becoming so so unhealthy. So boo me!
• I need to review my Korean! I haven’t had any practice with speaking/conversing. Poor Korean has become poorer.
• I’m unmotivated (or should I say uninspired?) these days. Here’s the thing: I’m not rushing. Nor am I really complaining. I could wait. I can do that. But there’s this thing about waiting that really sucks. I know some of you could feel it too and it’s really hard putting that on words. To my Soulmate/husband to-be, let’s find each other real soon kz?

P.S: Have you noticed? I’ve been using the word “really” too much. Sucks.

It was bound to happen. Proof?

Heechul’s birthday is July 10. My birthday is March 10. Well, as you all know, Super Show 2 was held last April 10. ♥

I still can’t believe it. Everything felt so surreal. Never in the four years I have known them have I thought about seeing them perform live here in the Philippines. Thank you Kami-sama for making ways for my dreams to happen. THANK YOU. ♥

I can’t go into writing much details. I’m still at lost for words.

And the feeling I had when I wrote this entry came to terms with reality. Dilang-anghel as how they would describe it in Filipino. Thankful for this chance. I might let go after Saturday. I might.